Deidara's diary
by Narutodays
Summary: Deidara isn't one for writing, but since it wasn't his choice, there isn't alot he can do...A view into Deidara's wild, chaotic and often dangerous life. Can he keep out of trouble, drop his bad habits, and find someone who'll be more than just a fling? SasoxDei Sorry people, I know my summary is a bit crap, but I promise you'll enjoy it! ;) Reviews would be very welcome. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Deidara's diary.**

**Hello people! This is my third fanfiction, so I hope it's better than the others I've written ;) And yes, before you complain or decide to stop reading, the spelling mistakes ARE on purpose; I am normally a perfectly literate being. It's just how I imagined Deidara would write if he had to write a diary.. Well, I hope you continue reading, and thoroughly enjoy the story! Reviews would be fantastic ;)**

Dear diary,

...No, scratch that; Dear book,

I am Deidara, un (don't know why I'm talking to sum stupid old book, but I've been told to, so hey, un).

I'm 17. I have long, blonde hair (wich isn't even the slightest bit feminine at all, un), and blue eyes. I have recently joyned a gang called the Akatsuki. And before you say anything (wich you won't, since you're a book), I know my writing skills are rubbish- skool wasn't my thing really, un. And enyway, after what I did at my last skool (it may or may not have involved explosifs), it's not like they'd let me come back...

Enyway, this 'diary' is to rekord the stuff I do every day. Load of shit, if you ask me, un- why does enyone write down their memories in a book, when we can store it in our brain? Jesus, I can't follow this stupid logic. Totally pointless, un.

However, Sasori towld me to do this, and even if I'm not one for following orders, I am genuinlee worried about what he'd do to me if I didn't do this...

Right. I literally can't think of enything else to tell you, book, so...er...bye? Is that what you say to a book, un?

Oh, fuck this shit, un.

_Deidara._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Dear book,

Been a seriously busy day today! The Akatsuki decyded they had a mishion for me (woop woop...). Bifore I go into detail, I have to explain that the Akatsuki...Well, we're not exactly what you'd call good guyz. I mean, it's not like we do bad shit for fun, un (though I'm not sure if that's true of all of us...) and we try to cauze as little trouble as possible. But, if you ain't got enywhere else to go, and you need money, then the Akatsuki are the ideal solution. And enyway, I don't have enyone who's gonna give me food and shelter or any of that shit. I've done bad things in my time, so it's not like it matters, un.

I do have another part-time job, though. Yeah, ok, it's working in a caravan shop (shut up, un. I know you're just a book, but that Goddam silence is still bloody annoying, un). However, it's payed pretty good, so I ain't complaining. We all have our own jobs, in the Akatsuki (not saying that some of the other memberz have got clean jobs like mine, but still), and we put some of that money together to help each other. That's just how it works. If it was my choyce, I wouldn't be sharin' with enyone. But, hey, it ain't my choice, un.

In fact, thinking back on it, I barely remember joyning the Akatsuki, Though I'm pretty sure they found me...

_Flashback, one year earlier (narrated)._

Deidara sat in the corner of the flat, the drugs he'd been taking turning the crowd of dancing people into a blur of movement that made him queasy. Strangers and friends drifted towards him, talking to him, shouting at him, crying with him, and doing other things which the drugs helped him to forget.

Finally, the squash of visitors began to filter out. Deidara didn't care; he couldn't think clearly, his mind cloudy and his senses dulled.

A man stood over him.

Deidara blinked his eyes groggily, attempting to focus his bleary vision on the figure looming over him. He didn't remember going to sleep.

The man leaned down, offering his hand; His mouth seemed to move soundlessly, the sentences drifting past Deidara's closed mind. He reached out for the man's outstretched palm, trying to cease the shaking that racked his body.

The stranger shook his hand, to Deidara's mild surprise, and then heaved him up easily. Deidara smiled hazily then turned around and vomited all over the wall he'd been leaning on, before passing out.

_End of flashback._

So, yeah, I woke up in a nicer place than the night bifore, so I figured I'd stay, un. It's not like I had enything to lose.

Enyway, back to the original point: I had a mishion.

Pain (the dude who I found out was the one to recrute me, un) is the 'leader' of this gang. He seems a bit dodjy to me, but then half of the other memberz do too. He has another job, like the rest of us, but he doez 'side jobs' too. Frankly, it's his bizness not mine, so I don't give a shit. And enyway, he treats us all well.

Actually, he was the one to give me the mishion: All I had to do was collect sumthing form a colleague of his. I didn't ask cuestions- It's not my bizness, is it?

He gave me sum simple direcshuns, so off I went.

The meeting place was spooky, to say the least (shut up, I'm not a wuss, un). But seriously, there was graffiti all over the walls, which were dripping with that green slime you get in tunnels and places.

I stood waiting on a small street corner, looking for any tags I might recognize.

Jeez, it was too fucking quiet there. Literally, I couldn't even hear a single bloody car! It was all creepin' me out big time...

After about half an hour, I decided to leave, since this stupid colleague had become invisible. So, I turned to leave, and immediatlee heard noize behind me. I turned round sharpish, only to narrowly miss a Goddam blade pointed at my back.

I almost screamed.

ALMOST, un.

A dude with a weird duck haircut and black eyes glared at me.

Jeez, that look sent a shiver down my bloody spine...

He stood back, swiftlee slipping the knife back into his black biker jacket like a pro. I swallowed, tryin' to hide the fear that was creepin' up on me (shut UP you stupid book, un).

"Where's Pain?"

His voice was quite deep, almost, I dunno, silky. Seriously, he might have just tryed to stab me, but that didn't make him any less sexy...

"Er, he sent me to...I dunno, collect sumthing, un". I was tryin' to keep my tone cajual, which I can tell you is Goddam difficult when you've been freaked out of your mind by someone who's actually hot...

The guy looked quizzikal.

"He sent a girl"

Oh man. He did NOT just say that. Sure, he might've been hot, but I do NOT look like a girl. AT ALL, un.

"You wanna say that again, you fuckin' duck face?" I growled at him. I was totally ready to beat him up.

The dude didn't even give a shit. Not a single one. He smirked. Literally. He SMIRKED. What a prick, un.

"STOP LAUGHING YOU BIG SHIT, UN!" I shouted at him (What? I was pissed off, un).

He laughed enyway, then stepped towards me, suddenly all threataning. I started to back off, but he grabbed me lightning fast (like a fucking ninja, seriously). I panicked, and it must've shown in my eyes, since he literally pissed himself laughing again. He loosened his grip on my shirt (my nice new fucking shirt, un).

"I'm not gonna kill you, idiot" he wispered, his face close to mine. I blushed furiously- this guy was seriously tryin' to mes with me.

He fished into his pockets, then lifted out a see-thru packet, which had some kinda white powder in it. All that effort for sumthing so Goddam small! (just sayin', un). He took my hand and shoved it into my palm.

"Tell him he'd better turn up next time" The guy whispered. I glared at him- He was a seriously creepy guy..

Finally, the dude was a about to make his leave, but he paused. Then, he turned around, grabbed my collar roufly, and kissed me.

(You didn't mishear me, book; that fuckwit KISSED me, un).

"The name's Sasuke, idiot" He sighed into my ear, before pushing me backwads and walking away down another dodjy lookin' street.

That's it, book. I will NEVER be goin' on Pains' stupid mishions again. I mean, that was honestly the Freekiest guy I've ever met ever. Probably (piss off, book). Pain can go find some other wacko to do his shit, but not me, un.

Well, that's it for today, so...Bye again?

_Deidara_


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey people! Hope you're all enjoying the story so far, and that the spelling mistakes (Which, I stress again, ARE there on purpose) don't make it unreadable! I apologize for the foul language in the last chapter too ;) Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3**

Dear book,

Sasori is a big twat. I hate him. I HATE him, un (and don't you go commenting book- you haven't met him, un. Lucky you, I suppose.)

Well, enyway, I'll explain what happened...

Late on Thursday evening, I came home totally pissed and stoned out of my mind, as alwayz (Well what? We all have our habits, un).

I staggerd into my flat, just tryin' to concentrate on closing the door without fallin' over. Don't know why I bothered, though; it's not like I've got enything worth stealing, un...

Enyway, I flopped down on the sofa in my room after winning my fight with the door (piss off, un). I should explane that my room is basikally the whole flat, bicause I just nap enywhere. There _is_ a bedroom, as well as a livin' room and a bathroom (don't even know why it's called a bathroom, since it only has a fucking shower, un) but it's my flat and I can kip where I want, un.

I was dozin' off, my head banging like a god damn disco, when..

"Home late again, brat".

For the second fucking time, I get shocked out of my skin (Shut the fuck up book, or I swear I will ram this god damn pen in your...Ah, shit, you're a book, un).

Sasori put down the newspapaper he was reading, descreetly wiping a couple of cigarette butts off the table, ignoring the empty bottles, boxes and bills I can never be botherd to move, un. (Well what? It _is _my house, un)

"W-what the fuck are you doin' in my flat, you shit head?!" I practically screamed at him (Probably a bit histerically- I was pissed _and_ stoned ok, un?).

I guess I shouldn't of been so surprised by Sasori the red-head twat being in my flat, un; The Akatsuki basically rent a block of flats (or own them- I'm not sure) and I pay the rent for this one, wich is why it's mine, un. I give my rent to Pain; all of us memberz do (though I do wonder what that dude actually does with the money, un...).

Enyway, we have our own flats. INCLUDING Sasori, un. I mean, just cause we live in the same block doesn't mean he can fuckin' trespas whenever it suits his stupid self, un!

...Actually, what with you bein' a stupid fucking book, you don't know who the memberz are, un.

Well, here's a list of all of us:

Me (obviously, un)

Sasori (red-head twat face)

Kisame (Seriously creepy shark-dude; Literally, his skin is fuckin' BLUE, un)

Itachi (Also creepy, but only cause he's clever as fuck- Currently dating creepy shark dude) (by which I mean Kisame, un)

Pain (Weird piercing obsessif) (Also the 'leader' of Akatsuki)

Konan (semi-member really; Dating Pain- God knows why- she's too nice to him, un)

Hidan (foul-mouthed wanker) (Yes, worse than me, un)

Kakuzu (Yet another creepy guy- Akatsuki is basically creeps, un) (Though actually, Kakuzu is pretty quiet compared to the others. I'm sure he fancies Hidan- Just sayin', un)

Nagato (nice guy actually, though I don't see him around much, un)

Tobi (hyper little shit. How is he even in the Akatsuki? Wanker, un)

So there you go, book- that's everyone. I think. There could be otherz, but you don't need to know, un.

Back to the point- Sasori was in MY flat. I still don't know how he even got in, un.

Sneeky twat, un. He creeps me out.

Sasori smirked at me (seriously, is it just me, or does EVERYONE smirk around here, un?). He didn't say nuthing- just stood up briskely, making my head spin wildly.

"Jesus...What do you want, enyway, un?" I asked, too dizzy to keep shoutin' at him.

He watched me quietly for a long moment, making me wonder if there was sumthing on my face that I should wipe off sharpish. I clearly didn't look my best, un.

"You need to stop drinking, brat." He said.

Yeah, you're hearing is crystal clear, book! That big twatty wanker tit face said I should stop drinking! It's not like he's sober all the time! What a fucking hyp...hypocr...hippocrat? Shit. What a wanker, un.

"What the fuck?" I shouted at him, feelin' my anger startin' to boil over (yeah, I guess that's why they kicked me out of ejucashun, un).

"You think you're gonna achieve enything if you get pissed every day? Do you want to waste your life away, brat?" He growled back, starting to get pissed off at me shouting like a maniac.

I was actually surprised enough to shut my mouth at that. It sounded like...I dunno...He was _worried _about me, un.

And he wasn't finished there, book. Oh no. He stormed towards me like a fuckin' bullet, grabbing my shirt (my nice, NEW fuckin' shirt; Seriously, why does everyone seem to like grabbing this fuckin' shirt, un?) and pulling my face close to his.

Shit. I didn't want to admit it, but since you're a book, I guess it doesn't matter, un. I looked into his bored brown eyes, and I could tell he was serious about what he was sayin'. He moved in closer, so that his lips were only a centimeter from mine. And I blushed. Shit, I can't believe I'm writing this, un. That twat made me _blush_, un.

He didn't kiss me or enything, though; He just pushed me back on the sofa and started breathing deeply, obviously tryin' to chill the fuck out, un.

Jesus, I didn't know what to say man! I just stared at him; I must have looked a bit creepy, since I didn't even react (though I wish I had, un- I would have punched that twat, un...And no, I WOULDN'T have kissed him...piss off, un).

"...You need to learn that you can't live your life like this, brat; You're gonna have to sort yourself and leave sometime", Sasori said, watchin' me like a hawk. I started to drift off, my mind becoming floozy and soft as sleep decided it wanted an appointment with me.

"...I'm not worth it, un. There's nuthin' out there for m..."

Yeah, I kinda fell asleep in mid-sentence, but I was pretty fuckin' tired, un.

But it got me thinking; Should I really be so out of control all the time? I mean, I try to forget that I'm wasting my life away, but my fucking mind likes to remind me, givin' me all kinds of creepy nightmares; I don't remember the last time I had a good nights' sleep, un.

...

But seriously, I don't know what Sasori thought he was sayin'- there ain't nuthing out there for me, un.

See ya, book.

_Deidara_

**Sorry about how long I took to update! Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter ;) I'll try to do the next chapter ASAP... Although I can't guarantee it'll be very soon... ;) Reviews would be pleasantly welcomed by me, people ;)**


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